I was humbled yesterday by a memory I had of Grandma. I remember when she was the organist for the Fallon 2nd Ward. I don't know the whole story...maybe Dad can help me out with this. From my perspective, she struggled with that calling. She was a pianist, not an organist. We didn't have an organ for her to practice on, so if she wanted to practice, she had to take time to go to the church to play the organ there. I also believe that they wanted her to be there early to play prelude. That was sometimes a struggle for her, and I don't think she had a lot of help from whichever of her children was still at home then. I don't know that anyone ever openly criticized her playing. Knowing how we Mormons can sometimes be, however, it wouldn't surprise me. I remember more than once thinking, "My word, Mother, what's the big deal? Just do your best and that will do." I'm sure I never vocalized this thought, at least not so plainly.So, yesterday I was called to be the Ward Choir Director. When I was issued the call, I simply said, "I don't want to be the Ward Choir Director. But, let me tell you why." It just so happens that our ward is full of musically talented people, who are also opinionated and critical. They are also in the choir. I led the choir for the Christmas Cantata last year, so I know this first-hand. Not being sure that I wanted to open myself up to that criticism, I tearfully shared that with Brother Cannon. I also shared that I am not a trained choir director, I am a drum major...that means I lead the band, not the choir. As I was imparting all of this, I thought of Grandma and her calling to play the organ. You see, even though she didn't want to and it was hard for her, she still did it. I thought of thinking, "My word, Mother..." and thought she must be looking down saying the same thing, "My word, Heidi, it's not that big of a deal. Just do you your best and that will do." Well, Brother Cannon and I decided we'd both think about it and get back together later. I decided that I would heed my mother's counsel (for I'm sure that that's what she would have said to me) and that I would accept the call and do the best I could do...criticizers be damned (in the "stopped" sense of the word). I wouldn't be doing it for them, anyway.
Isn't it interesting how easy it is to judge others until we are put in their shoes? I am grateful for that memory of Grandma, but mostly I am grateful for the example she set in persevering in a task that was difficult for her. "If thou wilt do good, yea, and hold out faithful to the end, thou shalt be saved in the Kingdom of God..." D&C 6:13 Grandma did good and she was faithful. May we also do good and hold out faithful...even amidst the criticism of those who have never trod in our shoes.
Thanks for the memory. I can be the Nursery Leader and it's not that big of a deal !) Those are very wise words!
ReplyDeleteDana
Gramma Rita was a fine organist...and it is easy to say "my word, it's not that big of a deal," until you are there. And it would be a big deal if I had to play the piano or organ...reverence would for sure be lost. We should all be a little kinder in our thoughts and words. Words of wisdom from Rita.
ReplyDeleteFrom an e-mail I received yesterday from Beth:
ReplyDeleteI read your post and wanted to share my memory of what I remember went on when your mom was called to be the ward organist.
At the time, I was the ward music chairman. We didn't have a lot of people in the ward who could play the piano and even fewer who could play the organ...like next to nobody. I believe it was Brother Elkins, who was in the bishopric at the time, who was over music.
Several of those who could play the piano didn't feel like they played well...your mother and me included. I remember Joyce Wadsworth was another one that was being looked at to play.
Anyway, the idea came up that since we had so many that would be stressed by the calling of being ward organist, that perhaps we could share the task...for example, I would play the first Sunday of the month, Joyce the second, your Mom the third...and I forget who else we were looking at, but I think we had at least 4 sisters we were looking at. We thought it wouldn't be too much of a burden for one person that way and we would all have a month to practice our 3 or 4 songs.
(Now remember that this was many years ago and my memory might be faulty, but to the best of my recollection, this is what happened) Then Brother Elkins came to me and said that when he approached your Mom with the idea of her having one Sunday a month to play that she told him that she'd be willing to take on the calling and do it all. She thought it would be less scary if she would have to play every Sunday instead of dreading it all month. I was amazed that she was willing to tackle something that made her so nervous...I was really impressed with her.
And that's my memory of her being called to be the ward organist.
Mom was always willing to do whatever the Lord asked her to do...she had a lot of faith that if the call came, so would the way to accomplish the call. She is an amazing example of faith!
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