Everyday Lessons

I know it's been a while. I guess life sometimes gets in the way of our best intentions. I have had some amazing Grandma Rita experiences in the last week or so and I want to make sure that I write them down.

Last week, Jeron was playing at a friend's house and accidentally broke a lava lamp that the boy had just purchased with his own saved money. Although it was an accident, the little boy felt really sad and mad, and Jeron felt bad because he didn't mean to do it. The mom of the little boy was frustrated because it included red liquid on her carpet and wall. Sometimes, the mama bear comes out in me and I just want to protect my own. After all, it was an accident. Let's all just get over it. Then I remembered a lesson that I learned many times from Grandma Rita: "People are more important than things." I talked to Jeron about how the little boy must have felt and how he would feel if someone broke something of his...even if it was just an accident. I got to share with Jeron an experience that I had with Grandma Rita and the lesson I learned.

A long time ago, I was getting ready to go to college. I had a boyfriend, and he was getting ready to go to college, too. When he was going through his belongings, he found some model rockets and launchers. He didn't want them anymore, but he thought that Uncle Timmy and Uncle Robbie might like to have them. One day he brought them over to our little apartment on Timothy Way. He showed them to Tim and Rob and explained how they worked and what they would need to do to launch the rockets. At some point, someone misunderstood the explanation and hit the launch button. One of the rockets took off in our living room, flying to and fro, hitting everything in its path. It was loud and scary. Auntie Holly cried. Grandma had run into the room by the time the rocket had stopped and the dust had settled. The first words out of her mouth were, "Is everyone okay?" She didn't get mad. She didn't yell. She didn't ask what had happened. She was most concerned about whether everyone was all right. She took Holly in her arms and comforted her while the rest of us assessed the damage. My boyfriend apologized profusely. Grandma just said, "It's okay. As long as everyone is fine." The rocket put a hole in one of Grandma's paintings, burned the carpet and singed the couch. My boyfriend kept apologizing. "It's okay. Those are just things. You kids are way more important than any of those things. I'm glad that the rocket didn't hit one of you!" And that was the end of it. We straightened the painting, cut the burn out of the carpet and threw a pillow over the singe in the couch. She never said another word about any of it. She taught through her words and her actions that people really are more important than things.

Jeron and I decided that he and his friend are way more important that the lava lamp that was broken. We made a deal to split the cost of a new one and we took it over to make a little boy very happy.

I consider what might have happened if we'd just taken a "Get over it" attitude: the little boy would still be sad and mad, the mom would still be frustrated and we might have lost some really good friends. Making the boy happy and the mom less frustrated and keeping our good friends was definitely worth the price we paid for a new lava lamp! Thanks, Grandma Rita, for teaching us that people are more important than things.

Things Left Behind

Mom was always organizing. She loved buckets and bins and drawers and her label-maker. Organization seemed to be a process for her, more than a destination. With that in mind, I expect that I will never reach my goal of complete organization. I wonder if, where she is, she ever considers the things she left behind in this world. How does the saying go? "You can't take it with you?" (So, I wonder why I spend so much time organizing the things that will be left behind? Perhaps because I still must live in this world and living requires some things.) We only get to take the things that we've learned and the relationships we've built, right? Well, in that case, my mother left this world a very rich woman. But she also left others, especially me, with wonderful earthly treasures, reminders of who she is and how she lived her life, and, from my perspective, some tools to help me live better. Without knowing it, she has and will continue to come to the rescue with the things that she left behind.

She left behind her temple clothing. Aunt Arva has a friend of little means who is trying to prepare to attend the temple for the first time. I was able to give Arva some of the newest items to give to this sister. Arva is using Mom's temple dresses, as she is a worker in the Reno Temple and usually goes another day during the week, too. Mom kept Grandma Mellor's dresses for all of these years. I imagine the both of them saying, "My word, girls, give those things to someone who will benefit from them and use them!" So, I did. Grandma's dresses will benefit the Spanish-speaking sisters in the Spanish Branch in Fallon. I imagine that Grandma Mellor and Mom will both be filled with joy when their dresses and other clothing are worn to the temple.

I have been very protective of Mom's things. It is not because I want to keep them for myself. It is because I know that she would want them to be of benefit to others, not just taken to the dump or thrown out.

Jeron had a habitat project a couple of weeks ago. He chose an owl. Well, owls eat mice and Grandma just happened to have all the makings of furry little mice in her sewing closet. I thought of how much she loves Jeron and how thrilled she must be to know that the little mice supplies she's held on to all of these years were there when Jeron needed them.

I am thinking about this today because I have started going through boxes. I came across a book that may just help me out with my defiant little fit thrower. I thought to myself, "It's almost like she knew I would need this and left it right here for me to find in my time of need." She couldn't take these things with her, but I'm sure glad that she had them in her life and that she left them for my benefit and the benefit of others. I hope you each have something that reminds you of Grandma and how much she loves you. If I have anything that belonged to her that would help you in your lives, please don't hesitate to say something!

Memory Monday #16

Grandma wanted to live long enough so that her grandkids would remember her. I write Memory Monday to help the grandkids remember and know Grandma. Davis is the youngest grandchild that Grandma knew on this earth. I have often, sadly, said that his memories of Grandma will be few. Maybe, hopefully, I am wrong. Davis went to the bookshelf last night to get a book for a story. He proudly brought me one of Grandma's Numa yearbooks and said, pointing to a picture on the front, "Gammah, Gammah, Gammah!" I looked at the picture, and sure enough, it was Grandma! We have never looked at that book. I don't know that he's ever seen that particular picture of Grandma. We looked at the yearbook and Davis found Grandma on every page where there was a picture of her. My friend Mindy says that Grandma probably hangs out with Davis more than with the rest of us, and he probably sees her better than we do. I like that idea and I believe it. She is making sure that Davis remembers her. I, too, will make sure that Davis and the rest of the grandkids remember her.

Memory Monday #15

Grandma had the fastest sewing machine in the west. Now I have it, and oh, how grateful I am! Grandma could sew anything: wool coats, suits, prom dresses, t-shirts, blankets, patched knees, pajamas, Christmas stockings, shorts, etc. Her products were perfect and amazing. Almost like buying them at the store...only better...no flaws, ever. Here are some shirts she sewed for us for our family picture...pretty cute, huh? You'll notice that those are full-blown collars, the boys open to the left and the girls to the right...because that is how you do it, all of the lines match up perfectly, and there are snaps. She's good.

It's interesting, when you're faced with the death of a very prominent loved one, the things that you worry about and wonder about. When I knew that Grandma's time on earth would be cut shorter than I had planned, I worried about who would do my sewing and mending. I guess that deep in the back of my mind, I knew I would have to step up. See, Grandma not only sewed for me, she also taught me a few things along the way. I can sew because she let me sew (I only broke a few needles on that old Singer) and she was always there to lend a hand. Although I would much prefer to have her here to do my sewing for me, that was not to be. I am, however, grateful for the tools she left me: a fabulous machine, a closet full of supplies, lessons, and experiences never to be forgotten. So, now I wonder...do they sew in Heaven? It was an earthly talent that Grandma developed well and that she loved...I just wonder if she still gets to sew?

Yesterday I decided it was time to get the patches on the scout uniforms. I've only been a leader for four months and Jeron had his first den meeting last night. I have dreaded putting the patches on. I couldn't help but think what an easy task it would be for Grandma. So many times like this, I long for her to be here and say, "Bring them over. I'll take care of it." But, again, she did not leave me helpless. I have the machine and I have the experience, so I set to work. Can I just say...easy, peasy!? I know the machine made a huge difference, but I also like to think I got a bit of her talent, too! Just LOOK at those patches! Thanks, Grandma, for the machine, but mostly for the talent you passed on.

Happy Anniversary

Because of sacred temple ordinances, families can be together forever. Since Grandma and Grandpa were sealed for eternity in the Manti Temple on August 24, 1968, today we celebrate the first 41 years of their eternal marriage. We also look forward with faith to their reunion and an eternity of family togetherness. I am grateful for "...choice parents, who saw the wisdom of going to the temple so that (I) might be brought into this world under the temple covenants, so that (I) belong to eternal family that will go for many generations..." I am grateful to "...have been raised under the influence of the gospel by (my) parents, and taught its principles..." Grandma and Grandpa have continued a legacy of obedience to temple covenants started by our pioneer ancestors. They have given us the necessary teachings and example, that we might continue that legacy. May our eternal family truly go for many generations. This is the responsibility that is now ours.

Families can be together forever,

Through Heavenly Father's plan.
I always want to be

With my own family.
And the Lord has shown me how I can.

The Lord has shown me how I can.

What a blessing to know that ours is an eternal family. Thank you, Grandma & Grandpa, and Happy Anniversary!

From our 40th Anniversary Celebration

Memory Monday #14

I spent a week in Southern Utah a couple of weeks ago with Jeron, Jadee and Davis. Nothing like a venue change to stir up a whole new set of memories! Davis and I had the opportunity to drive to Richfield from Panguitch to have dinner with Stacee and Jamie. This stretch of 89 the Heywood kids know very well. We travelled it often on trips between Fayette and Panguitch. I haven't driven that road for...well, a VERY long time. Can't remember the last time... This time, as I headed through Circleville, made a sharp right, then a sharp left through town, I was reminded of one of the great faith-promoting experiences of my youth.

Grandma had a lot of faith. She knew that Heavenly Father lives and she had all the faith in the world that He hears and answers prayers. On one return trip from Fayette to Panguitch, Grandma forgot to gas up before we left. We were just miles north of Circleville when she realized that she was running on fumes. So, she did what you're not supposed to do when you're running low on fuel and you're only a few miles from a gas station: she pulled over and turned off the car. Her faith was great. She believed that if she reverently and respectfully prayed, she would be able to start the car and make it to her destination on the fumes. So, we all bowed our heads, folded our arms and Grandma prayed that we would make it. She started the car back up and headed toward the nearest fuel source. Of course, her prayer was heard and answered and we made it without a problem.

Isn't it interesting the experiences we remember from our growing up years? What a blessing to have a mother with faith, a mother who never missed an opportunity to teach her children by her example that God lives, loves us and answers our pleas. As usual, I have many faith promoting experiences I could share about Grandma. How many times did she ask us, "Would you like me to fast for you?" And then there are the countless times that she prayed for us for every reason under the sun. So, please share an experience of Grandma and faith.

"...yea, they had been taught by their mothers, that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.
And they rehearsed unto me the words of their mothers, saying: We do not doubt our mothers knew it."

Alma 56:47-48

I do not doubt my mother knew it.

Note: This picture is driving south on 89 at about where I think we probably were when Grandma realized she had no gas!

Memory Monday #13

The practice song in Relief Society today was "Each Life That Touches Ours for Good." I haven't heard or sung that song since Grandma's funeral and I was totally caught off-guard. After they announced it, I sat there wondering if I should sing, leave, ignore...I finally just tried to sing, but was so overcome with emotion that by the end, I had to leave anyway. I want to share the words of the song here because they are so fitting to our Grandma and the way she lived her life.

Each life that touches ours for good

Reflects thine own great mercy, Lord;

Thou sendest blessings from above

Thru words and deeds of those who love.

What greater gift dost thou bestow,

What greater goodness can we know

Than Christlike friends, whose gentle ways

Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.

When such a friend from us departs,

We hold forever in our hearts

A sweet and hallowed memory,

Bringing us nearer, Lord, to thee.

For worthy friends whose lives proclaim

Devotion to the Savior's name

Who bless our days with peace and love,

We praise thy goodness, Lord, above.

What can I say more? I believe that Karen Lynn Davidson could very well have written this song just for Grandma. May we each live our lives to be the kind of friend Grandma was, to bless others' lives, to enrich others' days, to be devoted to our Savior.

The scripture that is listed with this song is D&C 42:45-46. I especially like verse 46: "And it shall come to pass that those that die in me shall not taste of death, for it shall be sweet unto them."

I believe that death was sweet for Grandma, for she was a righteous and devoted follower of Christ. I am grateful for this knowledge and promise. I am grateful for the example that Grandma left for us.